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Getting over your first love and breakup

Posted by Eba

To me, a huge part of hoe-ing effectively is viewing your sexual partners as just that. They're not your emotional support, yes they have feelings, but their emotions aren't a priority - sex is. This can feel weird, because sex can be such an emotional experience!

After weird hoe encounters, I think about my ex a lot and miss him. His voice, the love we shared, and sex with him. I find this pretty embarrassing because we broke up in July last year and breaking up with him was one of the best decisions I made in 2015. Weird casual sex makes me kinda miss having a stable partner that I know and understand as an emotional being and sexual being. He was the first person I ever loved. The first person I ever had sex with.

I loved him (too much) a lot, and sex with him was pretty fantastic. But, being with him was so chaotic. I learnt that although loyalty, patience, and devotion are present, I can indeed be a crazy, obsessive, angry Taurus.

Immediately after our breakup, my hoe encounters were a way to move on by embracing more dicks since his was the only one I'd ever known. My sense of self was also so fucked cos this r/ship was a huge part of my identity.

I wanted so bad to be wanted. I wanted someone else to tell me how soft my skin was, how nice my full lips were, how much they loved my long legs, how they loved to see my ass bounce, and how good my pussy felt.

I realized that approaching sex for those reasons was completely fucked, so I took a couple of months for myself and didn't have sex. I took time to strengthen relationships that hadn't been a priority cos of my toxic relationship, rediscover my love for cooking and fitness, and recover from my summer of depression.

I'm a Taurus, and being stable and grounded is so important. I haven't felt this happy and stable in a long time. Here's to continuing to move on, more self discovery, and more dicks.

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Casual sex with a rich fuckboi pt 2

Posted by Eba

I am a superficial hoe. Although deep meaningful conversation is nice, I don’t mind bonding with you over a fancy ass dinner and cruising in your nice car. I am definitely open to hoe-ing with fuckbois or so I thought. It’s also super great that this fuckboi lives in a neighboring city so this is only gonna be a casual long distance fling.

‘The money’ is 6ft, tall, successful entrepreneur of Indian heritage. “The money’ is also a fuckboi. I was 75% certain of this after 10 minutes of interacting with him. But he’s so pretty. Every inch of his body is so beautiful, and fuckboi or not, I appreciate beauty.

But this fool commuted about 5 hours (including a ferry ride), fucked me like a champ (there’s no Red Lobster in my city), and as he was about to leave went all weird on me talking about how he didn’t want a relationship right now.

This made me sick. It implies that I want a relationship with this (pretty) fuckboi, and reinforces dumb stereotypes about women being clingy. I cleared it up and had a quick conversation that my expectations = sex.

In my experience, men are the ones who are clingy as fuck. Asking me to hangout and shit during the daytime when I’ve clearly said, text me after midnight!

Pussy so good, you commute 5 hrs. And YOU think I want a relationship? You fuckbois need to get #woke

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Weird date with an awkward white boy

Posted by Eunice


Foreheads are weird. Although I like to say I don’t have a type cos I’ve hoed with men of all sorts of proportions. I do have a type, and they are tall and lean. Preferably with proportional foreheads, nice fingernails, shoes, and bum.

In online dating woes, I went on a date with a basic white man who used hashtags like #idowhatican, #forevernomadic​, #datdiasporadoe​, etc etc in our text conversation. As if that wasn’t clue enough that he was a #basicfool, he had a massive forehead! Btw, in Nigeria, the pidgin word for huge forehead is ogor.

Freakin online dating, the angle of people’s pictures and their hair does wonders for foreheads. But my eyes are on to you. That date was not poppin but his forehead was. So distracting. He also had the most obnoxious white boy laugh ever. Like wtf.

Did I mention that I forgot his name. And rudely asked him “what was your name again?” during our date. He didn’t seem to mind and laughed it off. #toobasic

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Casual sex with the lingerie fetishist

Posted by Eba

Is it male privilege that makes some men shitty communicators and bad respecters of boundaries? I was not going to address this but this happened last night and I thought now is the time.

“The Shitty Communicator’ was supposed to be a once off thing. After we hooked up, he decided he was gonna text me non-stop over the weekend. He referred to himself as a pervert, and I asked him why in an effort to make conversation. And he actually tried to explain.

“pretty classic but I’m a lingerie fan (maybe fetishist), I enjoy dirty talk, anything anal, female masturbation (voyeur), threesomes and group sex, and lately I’ve been intrigued by public exhibitionism”

Umm, thanks for sharing I guess. I decided that conversation was over, cos I actually don’t give a shit. He messaged me on whatsapp, and I didn’t respond. Then he called me, at 12:09AM. WHO DOES THAT?

We’re not friends, we’re not lovers, we’re nothing. We don’t have a pre-existing arrangement. If you’ve met a person once, and they proceed to ignore your messages, DO NOT CALL THEM. Let it go and keep improving your #hoegame

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Casual sex with the rich lawyer

Posted by Eba

‘The Hair’ is a successful lawyer, a man of colour, who is woke as fuck, with impeccable style. We met up once and had a wonderful makeout session, which didn’t lead to more thanks to my period.

Our communication simmered but every couple of days, he’d like my pic on IG and message me “you’re gorgeous, just saying” and I’d be like wtf. He did this a couple of times, and I tried my best to casually communicate that this was way too random.

Last week, he sent me a drunk message on Facebook, and I called him out on his thirst, and he responded “of course I’m thirsty for you. Are you thirsty for me?”.

Umm, whut? I rolled my eyes on my screen so hard. I hate dumb pointless communication. If you’re that thirsty for me, maybe you should be making more of an effort to get my pussy. Of course I’m thirsty for you, I let you touch my lips. Dumb messages don’t do it for me. But, how do I communicate this with him? Stop texting me unless we’re making plan to fuck. I don’t need you to tell me how gorgeous I am. I don’t need you to send me drunk texts and Facebook messages cos the bond isn’t that strong.

In my year of hoe-ing, I am getting to know myself better, exploring my boundaries and trying to communicate them as kindly as possible. The goal is to keep my communication short and concise, and using this extra time to consistently work on my hoe game. Shout out to amazon.ca for the book knowledge and my glam squad for the fleeky nails and brows haha

I didn’t want to have a semi-serious ‘boundaries conversation’ but struggled to cut off communication with him cos we have a couple of mutual friends and I didn’t want things to be awkward. Plus, did I mention he’s hot, has great style, and is woke? I mean, this dude wears polka dots and pulls it off.

After much struggle, I decided to continue with the theme of 2016: talk less and fuck more. There is an abundance of dick out there. So if I want your dick, you will respect me and my boundaries. Bye ‘hair’, on to the next one.

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Casual sex with a rich fuckboi

Posted by Eba

‘The Money’ texted me late Saturday night letting me know he was gonna be visiting on Sunday. I hadn’t heard from him in a week, and I unmatched him on tinder and deleted him on facebook cos I decided I don’t need so much multi-app contact with a tinderbae.

Random 5 hr pussy commute on Valentine’s Day, who does that? #notgoals. But sure, come visit. He shows up in a dress suit looking amazingly beautiful. I don’t remember meeting men that are so gorgeous every inch of their body. Pretty astonishing.

We’re hanging out, drinking, talking, and making out and I start zoning out of the conversation. It wasn’t his fault, he’s smart and a good conversationalist but this was supposed to be a rest and relaxation hair day and my body sometimes get resentful when it’s interrupted.

I let him know I’m not feeling it and he says it’s cool, let’s just talk and listen to music. But every couple of minutes, he’d try kissing me, and I’d have to remind him that I already said no. Then he’d say let’s cuddle and then he started dry humping me. So I quickly had a conversation with him about consent, and he says he knows about consent and tries to practice it. He continues his moves, and I’m getting wetter and wetter.

And then he gets up, pulls his dick out and puts it in front of my mouth. At that point, all my defenses are down. His dick is beautiful, and at that moment I wanted it in my mouth.

Whenever we hook up, it’s the best sex of my life. But afterwards this time, I felt so iffy. A feeling I can’t really describe. Like yeah I just had amazing sex, but initially I really did not want to. Consent changes to. I did consent to it when I put his dick in my mouth and it felt wonderful. However, throughout that night he was pretty disrespectful of my boundaries and didn’t respect my initially no.

Also, if I’m being completely honest: because he’s rich and hot I was more patient with him. Although I was pretty frustrated when he wouldn’t stop trying, I didn’t get mad enough to kick him out of my house.

This is something I would never admit or share with any of my friends, and I think that says something. Urgh.

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A guide to good casual sex when travelling solo

Posted by Eba

I'm a single woman and I love sex. Travelling alone is a wonderful way to meet people. Casual hookups aka sex sometimes happens when you meet single men ;) Here are some helpful tips I wanted to share from my last 2 weeks in Mexico

Dress well

We've all heard the cheesy saying: dress how you want to be addressed. I consider myself to be quite trendy, and being in Mexico, you want your clothes to reflect that casual summer vibe. I like to go for casual, sexy but not slutty.

Get out there

I have many hookup stories but all of them have one thing in common: I went out. Yes, I enjoy watching TV shows in bed and sleeping in, but you're not gonna have any casual flings in bed with your TV. So get out there and explore.

Look friendly (maybe smile)

I'm the first to admit that I have resting bitch face. However, this resting bitch face hasn't stopped me from meeting hot men when I'm travelling alone. The trick is to look approachable, and an important part of that is smiling.

A few days ago, I was sitting alone in a busy food shop in Mexico when a guy sat at the table next to me, looked at me and asked me if I was enjoying my meal. I said yes, and he asked if he could sit with me. I said yes, we started talking and he was in my bed a few hours later.

Listen & good conversation

Finding someone to have sex with is easy. Having good sex takes more work and patience. I know myself and my sex patterns really well. I like men that seem gentle and sweet, who seem unassuming, and don't get affectionate too soon. I like to have a good conversation with a man before he touches me. I like men who wear their hearts on their sleeves.

I enjoy conversation, and listening to people. An easy and quick way for me to tell if a man has these traits is by talking to him and listening. It also takes away all awkwardness of new sex, plus all that teasing, buildup, and anticipation. If our brain chemistry is hot, it's bound to be steamy in bed.

Like you probably noticed, these tips apply to multiple scenarios, not just solo travel. Happy humping.

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